Dear Sister, I’m Married, Now What?

Dear Sister,

I’m married.

After a five-year relationship that ended in a failed two-year engagement.

After spending another few years chasing after everything but God.

After ceasing to run and actually letting God change me.

After waiting and watching others move on to become wives and mothers, and learning to celebrate them instead of being envious.

I’m FINALLY married… now what?

Well, I adore my husband, but life does not begin or end with him. It STILL begins and ends with God, and it always will.

I wish I could tell the me from years ago to let go and enjoy life, because the desires of my heart are God’s responsibilities and not mine. That just because I have a warm body in my bed at night, doesn’t mean I’ll never feel lonely again. That just because I married the man of my dreams doesn’t mean I’ll never feel unfulfilled again. That just because I have someone cheering me on everyday, doesn’t mean I’ll never doubt myself again.

I once made the mistake of thinking that life would be “fixed” once I met my soulmate. Thankfully, God took me through a solid season of singleness to prove that life was already fixed. Today I am absolutely grateful that God took me through that season. I’m reminded of that season when my husband has to work out of town for days at a time, leaving me in a new city to fend for myself. Or when he wants to do something manly that I have absolutely no interest in. Or when I want to do something girly that he has absolutely no interest in. Or when I have to step out and befriend others, because I just want to fellowship with someone other than him.

If you are currently waiting on God for your spouse, I challenge you to relax. Because, once you get married there will be new challenges, new desires, new goals and the method will be the same: TRUSTING GOD. Sure, you’ll have a husband to achieve those with, but you won’t want to make the mistake of thinking that he is the source of your joy.

Learn to live now without a husband, so you can truly know how to live with him. Learn how to appreciate moments alone as much as you desire to enjoy moments with your future husband. Learn how to enjoy life with just you and God, so you don’t wake up after “I do” thinking, “Now what?”

Love,

Armeka

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